When I asked to join JWHF I thought about all the amazing things I’d write about. I even wrote a list. But somehow, over the past few weeks, I haven’t quite found the mental space to actually sit down and write. It’s not because I’ve had a particularly crazy time at work (well, I say that…) or because I’ve travelled loads or anything similar. In many ways, I’ve had quite a slow fall. I’ve just spent a lot of time thinking. I saw a friend yesterday who said that ”I have such a boring inner life, I can never think of things to think about”, and I am the exact opposite. I feel like all I do is think. I can spend hours pottering around the house, not doing much apart from watering plants, wiping surfaces, and thinking. All this thinking takes time. So what do I think about then?
How to have a big impact with limited resources
I think a lot about work and what I can do with the resources I have to achieve the biggest bang (literally) for the buck. I have a background in communications (PR and media relations, brand-building, storytelling, copywriting) but recently I’ve started dabbling in marketing (content, events, video) which opens up a new set of channels to consider, test, and evaluate. I work at a b2b company that has target audiences spread across different industries, so there are a million things we could do—but we can’t do all of them.
How to be the best possible adult in the kids’ lives
The kids in my life have two wonderful parents already. Luckily for them, both of their parents are so great that they don’t need a third. Yet, I have so much love for them and I am one of the three adults they spend the most time with. It would be pretty ignorant of me to not consider the impact I have, regardless of what I do. So what can I do to have the best impact? I think a lot about our different experiences as children, and, as most parents — biological or not — I try to give them what I didn’t have. I hug them a lot, tell them that I love them, ask them about their days, what they’re thinking about, how they’re feeling. I think about how I can use my experiences to show them the glimpses from outside their bubble, without being overbearing or just simply too much.
Jesus Christ. I spend such an embarrassingly amount of time thinking about what colour to paint different walls in different rooms. It’s a bit of an identity crisis, thinking so much about wall paint. I used to dream about saving the world, and now I dream about coming to peace with the colour of our walls. Just… Wow. I’m not sure whether this is progress or not. It probably isn’t, but I’m coming to terms with it.
The thing with emotional immaturity is that it’s not always that easy to spot, particularly not when it comes to oneself. I’ve done a lot of training and soul searching with regards to my own emotional immaturity, so there’s certainly been a lot of progress over the years. The main changes now are that 1) I end up in a state of emotional immaturity much less often than before, and 2) even when I do, I usually spot it and snap out of it. Not always though, and this is what I think about. How I can become even better at spotting when I fall down the rabbit hole that is emotional immaturity.
The things I’m not thinking about
Ironically, I also think about the things I’m not thinking about, why I’m not thinking about them and how and whether I should think more about them. Politics and the climate crisis are on the top of that list. I’ve grown almost dismissive of politics, having been pretty engaged and involved when I was younger.
We think roughly 60,000 thoughts per day. Most of them are the same as the ones we thought yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I think that’s why travelling can be so pleasant. You get to see new things and perhaps think somewhat new thoughts. We’re actually going away for the weekend next week and I think that’s what I’m most excited about. To rest my eyes on something different, and perhaps think some new thoughts.